


Perryshmirtz On Ice

by Nezuneotoki



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Victuuri, Mentions of Yuri on Ice, Romance, Slash, mentions of Victor/Yuri - Freeform, yuri on ice spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 23:37:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nezuneotoki/pseuds/Nezuneotoki
Summary: After promising his daughter he'd watch Yuri On Ice both Heinz and Perry develop a liking to the show as well a liking for something else. All in all the two begin to realize just how much they resemble Victor and Yuuri.Big shoutout to Minzy and 8bitcookies for the idea, i'm only responsible for putting it all together in a story fashion.





	Perryshmirtz On Ice

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea actually came from a conversation in discord between Minzy and 8bitcookies so to you guys thanks for the idea, I just turned it into a fic.  
> For anyone who hasn't watched Yuri On Ice yet I warn you of some spoilers especially for the end of the series.

“Curse you Perry the Platypus!” Heinz exclaimed before sprawling out on his back. 

His nemesis had just finished thwarting him and he needed to rest for a moment. Tilting his head to the side, he could see the sparking and charred remains of what used to be his inator. 

He sighed in utter defeat before bellowing, “Norm! Get over here and clean up this mess! Perry the Platypus will be back later for movie night.” 

“Right away sir.” The robot was suddenly at his side, effortlessly hauling the large leftover chunks of the inator to the storage room to be recycled for another day. 

With a heavy sigh Heinz remained on the floor as he muttered, “At least he didn’t call me dad this time.” 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

When Perry returned later that day he didn’t even bother to knock, instead pulling out the spare key the man had given him and let himself in. He found Heinz already at the DVD player and ambled on over to him, announcing his arrival with a chirr. 

“Perry the Platypus, right on time.” Heinz commented contently, shoving a disk in the tray. 

The agent eyed the cover in his hands and pointed at it inquisitively. 

“Oh this? It’s a new anime series that Vanessa recommended we watch, it’s called Yuri On Ice.” When Perry all but blinked Heinz continued, “I know it’s not our normal show but she strongly urged that we watch it. She says it’s got comedy and plenty of romance that would suit our tastes.” He tacked on. 

Perry gave him an unamused look. 

“I know, I know. We still have our soaps, but I promised Vanessa we’d check out at least two episodes. Plus, I have our show recording right now that way if we don’t like it we can just binge on a weekend or something.” He promised. 

Perry’s features softened at the mention of his nemesis’ daughter eagerly wanting them to give it a try and finally nodded before hopping up on the couch. 

Heinz beamed, sitting down and hitting the play button on the remote. In between them sat a large bowl of popcorn for them to munch on along with a few soda cans as they settled in for their movie night. 

They started episode one, both having bored looks plastered on their faces thinking it wouldn’t be in their interest, but by the time they reached the end of the second episode they had actually developed a mild interest in the show. Perry had grown attached rather quickly, finding the sport of figure skating quite intriguing. Heinz, took a bit longer to come around, finally being drawn in by Yuri Katsuki’s personality that somewhat seemed to reflect his own. 

“Well that wasn’t so bad. What did you think Perry the Platypus?” he asked, looking down at his nemesis. 

Perry turned to him and gave a thumbs up. 

“Yeah, it was pretty interesting… since it’s not terrible, should we just watch the rest of it? I gotta admit, it’s gonna bother me if I don’t see the end now.” He rubbed his neck sheepishly, uncertain of how the agent would react to the request. 

Perry tapped his bill, pondering for a moment or two before responding with a simple nod. He then hopped off the couch to return home for the night. 

“Make sure you’re not too early tomorrow Perry the Platypus, I-I didn’t exactly finish your trap since Vanessa distracted me earlier.” He called out. 

Without even looking, he gave Heinz a thumbs up before closing the door behind him. 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

The weekend rolled by slowly, too slow for Heinz’s liking. Ever since they began watching Yuri On Ice Wednesday evening he found himself wishing for Friday to come. Throughout the rest of the week they ended up just casually watching one episode a day since there were only twelve, that way they could still watch their scheduled program and not fall behind. But now it was the weekend, where Perry could stay a bit later than usual and they planned to watch a couple episodes of Yuri On Ice followed by three of their current soap opera. 

The evening finally came with Heinz setting up the couch for the night. There was popcorn, juice, a few deserts, a box of tissues, and plenty of pillows laid out on the couch for their disposal. 

Just as Heinz popped in the DVD Perry entered his apartment with a familiar eagerness. Heinz absently smiled at the sight. His nemesis always had a pep in his step when they binged their programs which in turn made him happy. Even though Perry could just watch TV in the comfort of his own home, he still chose to come here every day without any convincing. 

Perry greeted him with a chirr while settling on the couch, sipping on a juice box as he awaited movie night to begin. 

Heinz sat down on the other end. “We’re on episode four tonight.” He responded casually before pressing the play button. 

The episode started out interesting enough with the addition of Victor Nikiforov in the Katsuki household, but things got _really_ interesting when Yuri Plisetsky came in to play. 

“Ooooo draaaaaamaaaaa.” Heinz retorted, earning a smirk from his nemesis as they watched the newcomer’s jealous tirade. 

If they weren’t relatively interested in the show before, they definitely were now. Heinz ate up drama like candy while Perry liked the sound of a rivalry. Everything was going well until things took an even more interesting turn. As they watched the scene of the bathhouse unfold, the nemeses found their eyes widening as Victor clung to Yuuri while naked, attracting a lot of attention in the process. 

A small blush made its way to Heinz’s cheeks. “Well Vanessa did say there was comedy.” he chuckled nervously. 

They let the rest of the episode unfold before Heinz paused it to turn to the agent. He met his nemesis with a serious look. 

“I don’t know if it’s just me but I’m sensing that Victor may have a thing for Yuuri as well.” 

Perry considered this, scratching the side of his head with a paw before answering with a shrug. 

Heinz hummed then pressed play again, delving right into the next episode. 

Perry found himself quite enthralled by the way Yuuri explained all the rules and scoring of the sport in depth while Heinz was just glad he explained them at all. 

“Seriously, half the time I don’t even like watching sports in the first place because I never understand the rules or what’s going on. But this guy—” he pointed at the screen. “at least he _tells_ us what’s going on. I feel like I can finally follow along now that he explained everything.” He rambled. 

Perry kept his eyes glued to the screen but he was only partially paying attention, his ears focusing on Heinz’s voice instead while a small smile formed on his bill. He let the man ramble on since he knew it would be over soon, plus it wasn’t like Yuuri was skating just yet so they had a minute to spare. 

Heinz finally quieted down just as Yuuri was about to perform. Then they watched as Yuuri was asked to turn around before being engulfed by Victor’s arms in a supportive hug. Victor then whispered to him about wanting to be seduced and Heinz lost it. 

He let out a shrill scream of excitement. “Ha! Called it!” 

Perry rolled his eyes with mock exasperation before patting him on the leg, congratulating him in his own way. 

By the end of the episode Heinz was gushing with excitement. 

“Oh they are so in love with each other!” 

Perry nodded rapidly in agreement, adding a small chirr. 

This episode alone was enough to make him jump on the Victuuri bandwagon. He then hopped up to grab the Yuri On Ice cover and pointed at it with a thumbs up, followed by a questioning look. 

Heinz hummed as he deciphered his nemesis’ question. “Oh, do I like it? You know at first I thought it was okay, but after tonight I’m totally hooked.” He replied eagerly. “What about you Perry the Platypus?” 

A vigorous nod and smile accompanied with another chirr was his answer. 

“Oh good, because I was starting to get self conscious about how I was the only one into this, but I’m glad you are too.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous fashion. 

The agent shook his head as he returned to the couch before pointing at himself with another thumbs up, clarifying that he was just as into the show as his nemesis was. 

Heinz gave him a grateful smile before pressing the exit on the remote. “Well let’s catch up on our other show, shall we?” 

However, just as he was about to press the ok button he felt a tug on his sleeve. 

“Hm?”he looked down to see intense brown eyes burning with defiance. 

“What? You don’t want to stop watching Yuri On Ice?” When Perry gave him a firm nod, he couldn’t help the smile spreading on his lips. “Alright Perry the Platypus but just one more. I know you need to get going soon.” 

Perry chirred in agreement, sealing the deal. 

Content with the compromise, Heinz switched back over to the DVD so they could watch episode six, neither realizing they scooted a bit closer to each other due to the decrease of their junk food barrier. 

This episode had been more about introducing more characters and while it was interesting, none had really jumped at them the way Yuuri Katsuki did. However, there was one skater they saw that made Heinz blush to the tips of his ears. 

“Man, Christophe makes me want to close my eyes when he skates.” he remarked uncomfortably. 

Perry nodded, shuddering lightly at the memory. 

The skater’s routine had been… rather awkward to watch, especially with the things he’d think while gliding along the ice. 

“Yeah I did _not_ expect him to be that sexual. If anything, he’d have been better off on the pole in a strip club.” 

That had Perry covering his mouth with a paw as he stifled the laugh bubbling up in his throat. 

Heinz caught the little snicker anyway and felt his heart flutter. Ever since they began watching shows together, he noticed how close they bonded over them, which was the very reason he looked forward to the next day so much. Well, he looked forward to being thwarted too, but something about being more than nemeses was very refreshing. 

All the hate that had been pounded into him, all the loneliness, all the negativity he was ever drowned in seemed to dissipate whenever they hung out together like this. He now had a taste of what someone being there for him felt like and he clung to it every time Perry indulged him with their evening movie nights, holding onto the fact that his nemesis genuinely enjoyed spending a bit of time together outside of work. It was all he had to keep the crippling loneliness and fearful thoughts at bay as his rapid thirst for companionship grew. 

Eventually, movie night came to an end and, once again, Heinz watched as his nemesis took off, tipping the recreational fedora at him in adieu. And when the door closed, ensuring that he was alone, he felt the corners of his lips tug in a smile as he thought about how he couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come. 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

Heinz grumbled curses as he inspected the recently dried circuitry in Norm’s head. The clumsy robot had snagged his foot on a loose cord, launching him sideways and spilling the coffee he’d prepared for his creator all over himself, thus causing him to short out and completely ruin any scheme Heinz had planned for the day. 

Which is why when Perry showed up there was no trap holding him captive. He looked around for any indication of one that might need to be triggered but found nothing. Perplexed, he padded on over to Heinz and tugged on his lab coat. 

Heinz paused to peer over his shoulder, “Oh, Perry the Platypus I meant get in touch with O.W.C.A. earlier but I guess I let time slip by.” He apologized. 

That’s when Perry gazed down at Norm.

The robot was strewn about in pieces from being disassembled at the joints while Heinz worked on him. Some parts appeared damp and upon closer inspection he could see the occasional spark in the machinery. 

He gazed back up at his nemesis who groaned, “Don’t even ask, he’s just so clumsy… the oaf.” Heinz took a moment to place his hands on his hips. “Long story short he spilled coffee and malfunctioned which basically sabotaged my evil plans for the day.” 

Perry smirked and raised an eyebrow at him as he chirred. 

“Yes, he totally thwartblocked me!” he raged, fuming with pent up tension that would have otherwise been released during their fight. “Anyway, you can go back home until later.” He huffed while piling all the pieces of Norm on a dolly. 

He then rolled the robot away into the storage closet where he’d reassemble him. It was tedious work, but a hell of a lot easier than lugging the heavy thing back to closet in one piece. 

Thinking he was alone, Heinz was startled when heard a familiar chirr right behind him. He whipped around and found that his nemesis never left. “What is it Perry the Platypus, what do you want?” 

A single teal finger pointed at himself then at Norm. 

"You want to help?” there was disbelief in his voice that made the agent all the more eager to help out. “Well, alright then.” Heinz answered cautiously. 

A few seconds later, Perry was helping with the reassembly of Norm, making the process go much quicker than had he just been doing it himself. 

“Thanks for your help Perry the Platypus but really, you should go home since there’s no time for a scheme.” 

Perry promptly shook his head. 

“You don’t want to?” he frowned. His nemesis was acting rather odd. 

Perry then made a clicking motion that sent the gears turning in the man’s head. 

“Wait really?” he grinned. 

Perry nodded enthusiastically then, without a second thought, grabbed a hand and all but yanked Heinz along as they retired to the apartment for the day. 

Having found out that Perry wanted to get an early start watching Yuri On Ice this afternoon had Heinz reeling with excitement. Sure, they’d been excited for plenty of shows but for some reason, that he couldn’t put his finger on, this one had him extra excited. 

They’d forgone the snacks this time, wanting to just go on ahead and watch the series without any other distractions besides Heinz’s tendency to blurt things out. Eyes watched with obvious joy as History Maker played in the background, their bodies absently swaying to the gentle rhythm of the opening music and unaware of just how close they were sitting near each other. 

Blue eyes watered as they watched Yuuri break down right before his time to skate. Heinz sniffed as to deter the onset of tears from spilling over, not wanting his nemesis to see how strongly he resonated with this particular character. 

The quick inhale, however, didn’t go unnoticed by the agent and was now glancing up at tear-filled blue eyes. 

His paw reached for the tissue box instinctively and offered it to Heinz with a soft chirr. 

“Oh, thank you Perry the Platypus.” he uttered shakily while pulling a single tissue out to dab his eyes. 

It was then Perry realized how close they were sitting. The only thing that could fit in the space between them was the box of tissues and maybe the remote. Even with that knowledge the agent did not move, feeling neither the want or need to do so. Instead, he returned his attention back to the screen to see that it was now Yuuri’s turn to skate. 

Both him and Heinz sat on the edges of their seats as they watched his performance. While it was the same two routine programs, there was always the possibility of them panning out differently with the making or breaking of a move, and it was always thrilling as they wondered if the skater would land all his quads or miss a salchow. 

“No way! He actually did the flip Victor normally does!” Heinz exclaimed. 

A chirr was his only response, but internally the agent was concurring with his nemesis. He hadn’t expected Yuuri to change up his routine like that but it was exhilarating nonetheless, even if he didn’t land it perfectly. 

“Awww look, he’s going to hug—wait… Perry the Platypus did you just see that?!” 

The agent chirred loudly, quickly snatching up the remote and hitting the rewind button. 

He pressed play and let a single teal finger hover over the pause button, waiting for just the right moment. With sharp reflexes, Perry mashed the pause button with such speed that it stilled the frame they wanted to see perfectly. 

Both Perry and Heinz gaped at the scene in front of them with utter shock written all over their faces. It was covered by Victor’s sleeve, but it was indefinitely a kiss that stared back at them. They slowly turned towards the other and continued to gape for a moment before Heinz broke out in a huge smile that showed his imperfect teeth. 

“Yeees! I knew it!” 

Perry let the smile he’d normally hold back show, the elation evident on his bill. 

After all the subtle and obvious hints, they’d both been waiting for some kind of interaction like this. 

Perry observed his nemesis as he gushed over how adorably romantic that was before trailing off to how falling on the ice like that probably ruined the mood. He then felt his heart stutter when Heinz closed his eyes and let out a rather rare, high pitched giggle. He quickly clutched at his furry chest, keeping his eyes trained on his nemesis in case he looked his way again. The skipping sensation was gone as quickly as it had come but now his organ was beating rapidly. He released his chest and inhaled deeply in order to slow his pulse, and when he finally had it pumping at a slower pace, he found that Heinz had ultimately settled down and was busy wiping more tears. Tears of joy no doubt. With the press of a finger, Perry resumed the episode as they came down from their shipping high, although now the agent was questioning just how deep his feelings actually ran for his nemesis. 

The last bit of the episode was just as exciting as the unexpected surprise not too long ago. Yuuri was going to the finals and Heinz couldn’t wait to watch more. 

“We could probably finish it off today since I didn’t have time for an evil scheme. What do you think Perry the Platypus?” he asked giddily. 

The agent instantly chirred, nodding his head for clarity as they slipped into episode eight. 

By the time they reached the end of episode nine, Heinz had ridden a rollercoaster of emotions as well as Perry to a lesser extent. The man had fluctuated between mirth and annoyance, from mild content to sadness and anger mainly because of one character. 

While Perry disliked JJ, Heinz outright hated him. The agent was barely able to stifle the laugh as his nemesis grumbled about how the narcissist reminded him of his younger brother Roger. 

Then, their hearts dropped to the pits of their stomachs when they watched Yuuri skate. While others had done rather well, Yuuri did not. 

Without Victor there, the skater was utterly lost and it hit Heinz hard. It reminded him that they were the same. He gave his nemesis a side glance. Just like Yuuri, he was downright lost without Perry the Platypus, and he knew it was the same vice versa. They needed each other like Victor and Yuuri but on a completely different level. 

They needed each other as nemeses. 

Closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly, he cleared those thoughts from his mind. He could brood later. There were still three episodes left and they were going to finish them tonight damnit. 

Episode ten was quickly becoming more of Heinz’s favorite for just having everyone relax and enjoy some down time with only a bit of practice for the Grand Prix, but every time JJ was shown, his mood would quickly sour and he’d pout, which Perry found abnormally cute. 

The agent shook his head slightly as he caught himself but otherwise continued watching the screen. He’d save the self-reprimanding for later when he was home. 

The episode dragged on with both Heinz and Perry tearing up at all the subtle hints and subtext about the love Victor held for Yuuri. It was heart wrenchingly beautiful and it overwhelmed them greatly. 

Heinz was sure that Yuri On Ice was now his favorite show with how much he was sputtering about how adorably in love these guys were, not to mention Otabek and Yurio were now on their radar as well. 

But even Heinz couldn’t prepare for what was about to unfold as Yuuri dragged Victor into the jewelry store. The guy did say he wanted a good luck charm, nothing out of the ordinary there, but then the skaters arrived at a church with the pale moonlight filtering in and illuminating them in a silvery light through the windows. 

The sight was breathtaking and made him awe at the beauty the scene presented as Yuuri fumbled with words while slipping a gold band onto Victor’s ring finger. The whole thing had the man’s eyes widen as he inhaled sharply. He then watched as Victor placed the other ring on Yuuri’s finger to complete the set before they proceeded to walk off for dinner. 

Heinz was stunned into silence, the effect of the scene bearing down on him as if it were imperatively personal. He was then pulled out of his trance when he heard a soft sniffle on his left. Ah, yes he knew that sound. His blue eyes slid over to confirm his suspicions as he witnessed his nemesis grabbing a tissue and blow his nose. 

A loud gasp had Heinz darting back to the screen to see what the commotion was all about, and was ready to squeal when Otabek and Yurio were seen enjoying a meal together. 

“Aww that’s cute.” He commented as the characters chattered. 

Perry gave a definite nod, concurring when suddenly Pichit jumped the gun and yelled condolences on Victor and Yuuri’s marriage. Perry smirked at Otakbek’s slow clapping and stoic facial expression. It was in that moment that he knew he and this guy were alike and therefore was now one of his favorite characters. 

Then Heinz broke out into a high pitched laugh only to cease when Victor announced that those were just the engagement rings and that the marriage would happen once Yuuri won the gold medal. The shrill laughter picked up again though when everyone left as JJ crashed the party. 

“Serves him right!” he bellowed as the episode wrapped up with a fierce competitive aura that would set the stage for the next one. “I think that was my favorite episode you know, i-it was just so cute and romantic that I couldn’t help actually feeling happy seeing them together like that.” 

Perry chirred, swiping another tissue to dry the tear tracks that stained his furry cheeks. He then looked at the clock on the wall and frowned at the time. It was getting late and he needed to be home soon if he wanted to avoid suspicion. Without a second thought, he hopped off the couch and sprinted to the door. 

“Oh you’re going?” Heinz asked quizzically. 

The agent chirred hurriedly, tipping his fedora quickly before closing the door behind him. 

Heinz scowled, “What’s he in a rush for, it’s not even dark out.” He stopped his grumbling to eye the clock only to confirm his statement. ”I guess I’ll just take a shower and head to bed.” He muttered softly, turning off the TV in favor of a bit of relaxation. 

Try as he might, Heinz simply stared at ceiling in his room as he thought of the last few scenes of their newest show. More specifically the rings. Yuuri had said they’d been a good luck charm, but Heinz knew they had a deeper meaning other than that or the possibility of marriage. And that deeper meaning was the promise they’d be together, forever. 

A warm smile crept along his face and suddenly his wired mind hatched an idea. Tomorrow, Perry the Platypus wouldn’t know what hit him. 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

Long fingers trembled anxiously as their owner waited diligently for a certain nemesis to show up. 

Heinz didn’t know why he was suddenly so nervous, Perry the Platypus had been here merely half an ago destroying his latest inator and hadn’t been affected like this then. Blue eyes darted around until finally landing on his hands. Then it dawned on him that the reason for his sudden behavior was encompassed in his palms. He still couldn’t fathom why though, he wasn’t this riled up when he’d gone out and bought them so why was he all of a sudden? 

His brooding was cut short by a concerned chirr. 

He whipped around to see the agent standing there with an inquisitive look on his stoic face. 

“Ah, Perry the Platypus, I see that you’re wondering why I asked you to come back today since you have errands to run.” He started. 

The unamused look he received only made him more anxious. 

“W-Well I-I just wanted to give you something” he stuttered, uncovering his hands for the agent to see. “You see, after we watched episode ten it got me thinking, why not give you this as a promise.” He continued, slipping the smaller of the gold bands onto Perry’s ring finger. 

Perry quirked a brow at him then pointed at his occupied finger. 

“What? No, it’s not a marriage ring.” He defended quickly, “We’re nemeses, so it’s a nemesis ring.” He crossed his arms defensively at the accusation, but when the agent continued staring at him incredulously Heinz sighed, “It’s just to say that you’re going to be _my_ nemesis forever and that I promise to never hate or fight another nemesis as long as I live.” He could already feel the blush spreading across his face, hoping his nemesis was unaware of the hidden message he was trying to convey. 

Perry eyed his paw where the gleaming ring sat, ready to snicker, then looked back up to Heinz who was smiling at him expectantly. Any thoughts of laughing faded once he saw how determined Heinz looked. 

He was serious. 

Deciding it would be better to humor his nemesis, he silently took the other ring and slid it on Heinz’s ring finger. The smile that lit up the man’s face was more enough to convince Perry that wearing the rings wouldn’t be so bad. 

If it made his nemesis happy, then he would oblige. 

And when Perry headed home for the day with the ring still encircling his tiny finger, everyone was immediately drawn to it. His boys had been surprised to see it but had taken a shine to their pet having the ring with Ferb describing it as rather fetching. They didn’t even try to remove it, only wondering where he’d acquired such jewelry and Perry thanked them silently for that. The rest of his family was just as disinterested in the ring as his boys had been, merely noting it was there with a compliment then going on like it wasn’t out of the ordinary. 

Work, however, was a different story. 

Of course they took notice but not in the manner the agent had assumed. Both his Major and the intern had gotten into a bicker regarding the _intentions_ behind the ring rather than why he was actually wearing one. In the end they begged him to reveal if it was merely frenemies or romantically related, which resulted in him shrugging. While he didn’t know if there was a hidden motive behind the ring or not, he knew that it meant more to him the longer he kept it on. 

Days after the ring exchange, Perry began to notice a slight change in their dynamic. 

Heinz, who was normally bitter, had become somewhat more pleasant and chipper. The man rarely had a day where he couldn’t come up with a decent inator and he was much more eager to engage in combat. He even stopped venturing off to Seattle to meet with Peter the Panda. It was thrilling to say the least and it was all thanks to the nemesis rings. And while they haven’t had the chance to finish up Yuri On Ice yet, they didn’t let that stop them from bonding even further with other activities. 

Like right now, they were currently in Heinz’s apartment making homemade almond brittle when there was a knock on the door. 

“Oh, that must be Vanessa. Could you get that Perry the Platypus, my hands are kinda full?” he motioned to the baking sheet in his hands. 

The agent nodded contently and scampered off the open the door, not surprised when Charlene entered as well. Vanessa greeted him warmly before heading off to her room to put down her things, leaving him alone with her mother. 

“Hello Perry, nice to see you again. Is Heinz busy right now?” She asked casually. 

Perry nodded, pointing in the direction of the kitchen. 

Charlene took the hint and headed for the kitchen with Perry following behind. “Hello Heinz.” She greeted casually. 

Heinz stood up from putting the almond brittle in the oven and shut it closed. “Hey Charlene.” He remarked warily. It was rare for her to actually confront him in his own home. Normally she’d send Vanessa in by herself and be on her way, which meant this situation was unpredictable. 

“I won’t keep you long. I just thought I’d drop in and give you your alimony check in person.” She pulled out a slip of paper and placed it on the counter. 

“Ooookaaaaay.” He drawled out, suspicious of her demeanor and motives. 

Really, there was no need for this and it was starting to make him uncomfortable, like she was looking for something. He needed a way out of her scrutiny and fast. “Well it was nice seeing you but I really need to get started on the cleanup.” 

Perry gazed up to see how she’d react and was shocked to see a distant smile appear on her face. 

“You too Heinz.” She muttered, turning to Perry and kneeling down so she was level with him. That was when Charlene noticed the shine coming off of Perry’s finger. “So this was what Vanessa was talking about. A friendship ring between you and Heinz?” 

Perry went ahead and nodded, not wanting to jeopardize anything that might have already been established by Vanessa. 

“How sweet, you must be very important to Heinz for him to actually wear a ring everyday.” She commented solemnly. 

He gave her a confused look and shrugged unsurely. 

“You might not think so, but Heinz didn’t like wearing his wedding ring when we were married. The fact that he’s not even complaining or taking it off shows that he really cares.” she commented. 

With a soft smile she left, leaving Perry to gaze down at the ring Heinz had given him. 

He knew this meant a lot to his nemesis but he had no idea it ran so deep. The agent thought back to all the time they’ve spent watching shows together and how they acted up until now. Sure, they were nemeses and friends but somehow that still didn’t sum up what they were. 

He lightly grazed the ring with his thumb and felt a smile form. 

Back then he would’ve stopped himself, even chastise himself for such fraternization but protocol be damned. Just because he and his nemesis clicked on more levels than just enemies didn’t mean he had to hide or be ashamed of it. In fact, he was happy to have found someone that he enjoyed his time with whether it be recreational or not. With Heinz, he could be himself and not just a mindless pet or soldier. Heinz was there for him when he needed, and it was high time to show his nemesis just how important he was. 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

If there was anything Perry looked forward to other than spending time with Heinz, it was the day he was guaranteed off. It seemed like forever since he’d been given a day to do whatever he wanted without the threat of being called in and he planned to take advantage of the whole twenty-four hours. 

That’s why he showed up at Heinz’s apartment at nine o’clock sharp and let himself in. To his surprise Heinz was already up albeit adorned in pajamas with a groggy appearance. His hair was a mess, ends sticking up in various directions indicating it was yet to be combed out accompanied by sluggish movements. 

“Perry the Platypus? What are you doing here, you know there’s no evil scheme today.” He scratched his head tiredly, baffled as to why the agent was here at all. 

Perry didn’t speak, instead motioning towards the table and padding over to the coffee machine to fill the mug beside it. 

Meanwhile, Heinz had taken a seat at the table and was watching in stunned silence as Perry handed him the full cup before hopping up in the chair beside him. 

“Not that I’m ungrateful or anything but you didn’t have to do that Perry the Platypus. If anything, I would’ve made Norm get it.” Heinz assured as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

The agent quirked a brow at him, a slight frown forming. 

“What? How else am I going to find out if he’s still malfunctioning?” he defended. “Anyway, you still haven’t told me why you’re here.” 

Teal paws instantly fished in his fedora, pulling out a pen and pad to write. It was the easiest way to explain things without Heinz misinterpreting. He then held up the pad, urging him to take it. 

Heinz brought the pad closer to him, eyes widening as they scanned the single word written neatly on the page. 

“Nememoon?” he croaked out. “What, like a honey moon for nemeses? Really?” 

The soft chirr sent a wave of emotions coursing through his veins but he tried his best to contain them. He didn’t want Perry to see how much this affected him, not yet at least. 

“Why Perry the Platypus this is—I don’t—” 

A teal paw suddenly covered his hand, squeezing gently enough to cease his stuttering and offer him the comfort that there was no need for anything to be said. 

Heinz smiled warmly at the agent, covering the small paw with his other hand. “Okay. So, what did you have in mind?” 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

Their day started out with them going to a nice café for breakfast down the street. Perry insisted that Heinz get whatever he wanted and that it was on him. Well, more like on O.W.C.A but a quick message and promise to Carl would be enough to ensure that the card’s transactions would remain invisible to the agency. 

After breakfast, Perry led Heinz to the botanical garden for a leisurely stroll. That part was rather nice and stress-free for the both of them. The last time they were there, it was strictly business and destructive, but this time they were able to take in the scenery without the weight of work on their shoulders. 

By the time lunch rolled around, Perry had dragged them to the park for a small picnic. Being a secret agent and all meant he could take advantage of all the agency’s labyrinth of lair entrances whenever he saw fit. So, when they reached the spot he deemed worthy enough, he assured Heinz he’d be right back then entered the entrance in a sturdy tree to retrieve everything he had put together last night. 

It only took a couple of minutes to return then he immediately got to setting everything up, and while lunch was nothing extravagant, it was peaceful which Heinz enjoyed much more if his pleased hums were anything to go by. 

The next activities involved a friendly sparring match followed by relaxing in the warm sun on the picnic blanket and watching the cloud formations. Heinz quickly made a game out of it, declaring himself the winner after identifying over thirty different subjective formations. 

Perry let him have it, deciding it was better to watch how much fun his nemesis seemed to be having. He’d even let out that high-pitched laugh Perry loved every now and then. 

When evening rolled around, Perry took Heinz to restaurant for dinner and, once again, insisted his nemesis order whatever he desired. This day was for him and Perry wanted him to indulge a bit. While waiting on their orders Heinz began conversing with him, and while the agent couldn’t actually talk back, he listened and encouraged his nemesis whenever the other became nervous about the unwanted rambling. 

Once they finished dinner, Perry had all but dragged Heinz to the outskirts of Danville to a nice, secluded hilltop. There they were able to watch dusk skies turn to night. Thanks to being far out of the city, the stars were visible enough to be seen without the aid of a telescope.

Currently, Heinz was eagerly pointing to each constellation he saw and giving a lengthy explanation and story to each one with fervor. 

Perry listened to every word intently, the smile never leaving his bill as he stared fondly at his nemesis. As he watched Heinz name everything with pride and glee, he felt his chest tighten in mild discomfort. 

He was used to the dull aching by this point, having experienced it all throughout the day every time Heinz would genuinely smile or laugh. At first, the palpations made him anxious but now he welcomed them, because they made him realize just how hard he fell for the man beside him. And though he liked to think the feelings were a recent development, he knew deep down that wasn’t the case. He’d fallen long ago and had only just realized it. 

And as he watched the moonlight settle on Heinz’s skin, highlighting it pale white he felt his heart throb so painfully that he gripped his chest with concern. 

How could he have been so blind to his feelings for so long? 

By now Heinz had stopped talking and was now facing him. 

“Hey, Perry the Platypus?” he asked suddenly. 

Then agent willed himself to forget about his chest pain in favor of giving Heinz his undivided attention. 

Heinz opened his mouth then closed it, stuttering as he tried to get the words out. “Jus-Just hear me out alright?” when he received a nod he continued, “These past weeks since we began watching Yuri On Ice have made me... realize something.” he trailed off, his gaze averting as his confidence waned. 

Perry chirred, encouraging him to continue. 

It seemed to work. Heinz’s gaze once again found his and suddenly the man was speaking. 

“Right ummm... I uhh...” long fingers played with the fabric of the white coat as he stumbled on his words again. 

With a large inhale he tried once more, “I’ve come to realize that I may have... feelings, the kind of feelings that nemeses shouldn’t have.” he uttered with a deep frown. 

He then reached out and grabbed the teal paw that occupied the ring and held it carefully in his larger hand. 

“I know I said these were nemesis rings but to me they’re much more than that.” Heinz confessed softly. 

Brown eyes widened, not expecting this at all. 

“It’s alright if you don’t feel the same—” he whispered, absently running his thumb over the smaller ring. “They’re still a promise that we’ll be nemeses forever, no matter what.” he added sincerely, looking elsewhere now that he’d finished putting his feelings out on the chopping block.

Having been surprised Perry was still experiencing the aftereffects of being shocked. It took a bit for him to react but when he did, he felt a smile spread across his bill. He then surprised Heinz by tugging on his coat sleeve, begging for eye contact. 

Wanting to get the rejection over with Heinz obliged only to unexpectedly be met with a wide smile plastered all over the agent’s bill. 

Then, Perry surprised him even further when he moved the hand to his chest, letting the man feel his rapid heartbeat with the hope that he’d get the message. 

“Y-You?” he asked weakly, still entranced by how hard the agent’s heart hammered against his hand. 

Perry chirred softly, nuzzling Heinz’s arm with his bill affectionately. 

Heinz felt his own chest tighten and airway constrict. His nemesis actually reciprocated his feelings, it was too good to be true. Good things never happened to him, or if they did there was usually a price to pay, which had him wondering. 

“So, does this mean we’re not nemeses anymore?” he asked warily. 

He didn’t want them to stop being nemeses but surely, they couldn’t remain so if they were in a relationship now, right? If he had to, he supposed he could try. He’d try anything so long as he could be with his nemesis this way. 

Perry cocked his head to the side perplexed, then smiled before letting go of the man’s hand. He held up one paw then the other before putting them together. 

Heinz stared pensively at the melded paws for a few moments before it clicked in his head. 

“You’re saying we can be both.” A bright smile suddenly stretched across his face. 

Perry nodded slowly and before he knew it, he was being pulled into his nemesis’ arms for a bone-crushing hug. The agent returned the hug as best he could with his short appendages with just as much suffocating strength as his nemesis. 

They embraced each other until their arms grew tired from being strained, pulling away to gaze into each other’s eyes instead. 

Perry then took the initiative and leaned forward to nuzzle his bill against Heinz’s nose. When he pulled back, he grinned at how red the man’s face grew and decided to go a bit further. 

He may not be human, but he knew a little bit about human affection and was going to put his knowledge to the test for the first time. 

He slowly leaned forward again but this time lightly brushed the tip of his bill against Heinz’s lips. Met with no resistance he grew bolder and applied pressure, shivering as the feeling sent a jolt of electricity shooting through his bill, down his spine all the way to the tip of his tail.

Then as if brought back to live, Heinz reacted, one hand moving to cup the base of Perry's head to bring them closer. He tried to give his nemesis a proper human kiss but was met with the difficulty of the agent’s bill getting in the way. Although an inconvenience, he didn’t let it stop him. Instead, he tilted his head and angled Perry’s until their mouths connected perfectly. 

It took some getting used to but soon enough they were kissing and Perry was finding it to be a pleasant experience. 

Each time Heinz pulled away then reconnected their mouths sent him into sensory overload. The feel of Heinz’s pliant skin rubbing everywhere against his sensitive bill set off a continuous chain of electrical pulses that registered as bursting pleasure in his brain and he couldn’t get enough.

Then, just when he thought the idea of kissing couldn’t get any better, Heinz shocked him further when the lips parted and something wet licked at the opening of his mouth. 

The action sent his electrical sensors into a frenzy that had him craving more. Reflexively, he opened his mouth like Heinz and let his nemesis lead him further into the act of kissing. 

After several minutes of exploring each other's mouths Heinz finally ended their kissing session and pulled away. He panted slightly, face flushed red to the tips of his ears from the intensity of his passion. 

Perry resembled him, now a panting mess and a dazed look etched on his face that would also be flushed red if not for the thick, teal fur covering his skin. 

Once they caught their breath, Heinz gave him a lopsided grin. “This was a nice day, thank you Perry the Platypus—” he lightly rested his forehead against Perry’s. “But how about we finish the night with the final episode of Yuri On Ice?” he suggested softly. 

The agent nodded once very slowly, still too dazed from sensory overload to react properly. 

Heinz chuckled softly, “Don’t worry I got you.” he assured before carrying him all the way back to DEI. 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 

“Ahhh come on! I can’t believe he lost to Yurio by a such a small number!” Heinz cried out. 

The last episode was a real nail-biter. It was the finals and everyone had given it their best but only three were to be acknowledged and both he and Perry thought that Yuuri had it in the bag. He’d landed everything, even his most troubling techniques. He performed his last routine so perfectly that they were sure he’d win. 

To say Heinz was disappointed when Yurio was crowned the winner with a smidge more amount of points was an understatement, he was severely upset if the amount of tissues piled on his side of the floor was any indicator. 

Perry on the other hand had been disappointed but wasn’t upset to the degree of his nemesis. Though he wasn’t thrilled that JJ shared the spotlight as the owner of the bronze medal. He didn’t think his routine was deserving of a spot in the top three but that was just his thought on the matter. 

Heinz blew into another tissue then turned to Perry, “You know, even though JJ was in the winning circle and Yurio took gold, it was still a pretty good series.” he sniffled. 

Perry chirred only to be interrupted by a yawn. It had been a long day and an even longer one with all the planning he did last night. 

Heinz noticed how exhausted his nemesis was and smiled, turning off the DVD player and TV before gathering the agent in his arms and stretching out on the couch. He was tired as well and didn’t think he could make it to his bed before collapsing on the floor so the couch would have to do. 

“Night Perry the Platypus—” he slurred, placing a single hand on the furry back before slumber took hold of him. 

Instinctively Perry curled up on Heinz’s soft stomach then chirred softly in response, the noise trailing off as he dozed off much quicker than he’d have liked. 

It was an hour later when Vanessa came into the living room with a smirk playing on her lips as she eyed the way the two nemeses were sleeping. She then walked over to the DVD player and pulled out the disk to put it back in the case. 

“That worked out better than I thought it would.” she whispered before returning to her room for the night with a sense of pride. 


End file.
